I craved your attention the moment you laid your eyes on me. My heart skipped a beat the second you said I was beautiful. My cheeks blushed as if I had just taken three shots of tequila when you looked at me with your mesmerizing eyes full of hunger. But then, I sank. I was no longer the most beautiful girl. I was no longer your point of attention. I was no longer your craving. I was not enough.
I was the best thing that happened to you when you first held me in your arms. You looked at me in a way you never looked at anyone else. You prayed to have me forever. You were proud that I was yours, wondering how did you get so lucky. But then, I grew up. You no longer look at me the same way. You were no longer proud of me. You prayed for the old me. I was no longer the best thing that happened. I was not enough.
I was your sanctuary, your confidant. You loved me through your sorrow. You loved me through your joy. I was your everything. We shared everything. I was there for your agony and bliss. You couldn’t believe you had me in your life. But then, I faded. Was it the distance that killed us? Or were you just tired? We no longer share everything. You no longer show me your tears or laughter. I was no longer your sanctuary. You found a new one, leaving me slowly drifting away. I was not enough.
It’s me, isn’t it? It has always been me. You were my sunshine, my rain, my moon, my light. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing your attention, your validation, your admiration, your love. And now, standing here under the sky of four seasons meshing into one, I’m all alone. Broken. I couldn’t bear losing you, so I lost my happiness. I couldn’t bear losing you, so I lost my innocence. I couldn’t bear losing you, so I lost myself. I am not enough.
